Brenda Clowes
Counsellor in Buckhurst Hill

Couples Counselling (Relationship Therapy, Sex Therapy and Marriage Guidance) is my speciality - from commitment, moving in together, marriage, becoming parents, in-laws, children, children leaving home, being in-laws, grandparenting, to loss of partner. Affairs, sexual problems, employment, career losses and changes, teenage problems, moving home, addictions, infertility, disappointments, mid-life crisis, separation and divorce, second relationships and step parenting and more.
In my experience the biggest problem is in communication. Really listening and responding with respect to one another is liberating. Counselling is so effective
You may seek help for issues in the relationship but find your partner is reluctant or unwilling to come. That doesn't stop you from coming to talk about things from your side of the picture

I also offer personal counselling and welcome your call.

Background & Counselling Qualifications

I originally trained as a Counsellor with Relate and became a Supervisor in 1981.
I also trained in Sex Therapy in the Psychology Dept of Claybury Hospital, working in partnership with psychologists to help couples with sexual problems.
Realising the impact of childlessness I trained in Fertility Counselling at the London Hospital Medical College.
I taught on Counselling and Supervision Certificate and Diploma courses with the Central School for Counselling and Psychotherapy ( CSCT ) from 2002 to 2004.
All the while I have learned, and am still learning, from professional development and training courses at the Institute of Marital Studies - now renamed The Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships ( TCCR ), and the College 0f Sexual and Relationship Therapies ( COSRT ) and other training establishments.
I am a Senior Accredited Supervisor with The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy ( BACP ) and am accredited with the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT).

My Specialisms

- RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING

- Sex Therapy with couples
- Infertility counselling
- New parents
- Sexual Addiction
- Affairs
- Arguments
- Bereavement
- Managing Life changes -
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- All relationship problems for example - depression, working out whether you are right together before making a commitment, coping with in-laws and family, managing the change from being partners to becoming parents, fertility problems, affairs, sexual and other addictions, falling out of love, separating, partner working abroad, becoming step-parents, empty nest, illness, retirement, how to deal with the death of your partner, bereavement and all other issues we get beset by.
A lot of the things that hurt are when our expectations are different for example how we view money, how much time we spend with friends, who does what chores, or who makes the decisions.

- INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING with people from late teens onwards

Approach to Counselling & How I Work

Using the skills of person-centred counselling my aim is to listen to you and the issues you bring, the way you view them, and what you are hoping to gain from counselling. I am assessing what style of intervention that I think will help you best. That might be helping you to make connections between what is happening now and what has happened in the past when you were too young or not in the position to do anything about it (psycho-dynamic counselling) which can release you and empower you. The theory here is that we cannot undo the past but we can help undo the effect of the past in the present or You may be seeking a more behavioural approach focussing on solutions and challenging the thoughts that led to actions which have been unhelpful The theory here being that by changing the behaviour the feelings can change as a result.

There are two main areas of difficulty I find couples need help with are
a LISTENING - really listening to each other and accepting what is said with respect
B. VALUES - the whole question of values, what is important to each and why.
You will probably have discussed the importance of particular issues like whether you would like children, or on religion or politics,
What trips us up are the little values when we have assumed our partners will do things in a certain way because we do and then we become threatened when they have a different code and different set of ways of thinking and doing things. Its is so disorientating

Mostly my style is a blend of many of the approaches - there is usefulness in all.

Therapies & Rates

Please note the rates detailed below are there to give you an idea of the therapists standard rates, we strongly advise you contact the therapist for more detailed rates and any offers they may have.

Therapy	Appointment Type	Rate
Counselling	In Person	£60 per 60 minutes
Sex Therapy	In Person	£70 per 60 minutes
Relationship Therapy	In Person	£70 per 60 minutes

Additional Rate Information

My mobile phone number is 07943 335954. For further information or to find out if I might be able to help you please ring me or send me a text. If I am not available please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.