Relationships between two adult individuals are always one of the most challenging aspects of human nature to understand. I wonder why some relationships work and some do not. Why there is so much understanding, love, joy and respect in one relationship while other relationships are totally devoid of that.

It takes 2 individuals in one relationship to work, and that’s where the challenge starts. A relationship can be a challenging one when two totally different individuals are involved. Two different individuals who have different priorities in life, come from different backgrounds, have different emotional needs and may have different values and belief systems. These differences, however may sometimes work to spice up the relationship - there is no fixed formula for a relationship to be a success. I have seen people getting separated who seemed made for each other and I have seen couples carrying on even though they appear totally away from each other.

Then what is this important recipe or ingredient that makes a relationship successful?

First, let’s discuss some of the important ingredients to make a good relationship.

Love, Respect, Communication, Flexibility, Understanding the Other’s Perspective.

There can be many more factors but let us keep our discussion to the main ingredients for the sake of this article.

Love: What is love? A very deep and difficult question to answer. We tend to answer this question keeping our need in mind and that’s where we might sway to the wrong side. Let us close our eyes and just think of love. What is love? Love is the purest form of feelings. When I think about it honestly and feel it inside my heart the answer comes: to give. Love is to give. Simple, no ifs or buts.

Respect: What is respect? I think respecting another person means we accept the person as they are. We accept the uniqueness, we accept the individuality, we accept the other person with all his/her strengths and weaknesses. We should appreciate our partner more and criticize less. It is known fact that constant criticism slowly damage the relationship overtime. We should make a concious effort to appreciate our partner on small acts rather than take them for granted.

Communication: Effective communication is the most important ingredient in the context of the modern age for a successful relationship. The importance of it cannot be emphasized more. With effective communication, we can resolve issues and dissolve issues before they become too big. Most of us, whilst perhaps aware of the importance of communication, fail to practise this when push comes to shove. Is it because of our egos, or are we too afraid and weary of emotional draining? Your reason could be for you to find out but communicating rather than just reacting can save many of the relationships.

Flexibility: No matter how similar two human beings in a relationship are, each one of them must adapt to different degrees at various times. As two adults, we are expected to be different from each other. When we have respect for each other’s individuality, it is easier to adapt. Bring some flexibility and adaptability into the relationship.

Understanding the Other’s Perspective: In a relationship, this is the biggest mistake I have seen couples making. It is very easy to say what I want from others or from a relationship. What we fail to understand is the perspective of the other person. What are they trying to fulfil? Where are they coming from? We will do a wonder to our relationships if we from time to time, act as the other partner, step into their shoes and see their perspective.

A relationship needs nurturing from time to time. It is a work in progress. It requires two people, each pouring these ingredients from their side into the relationship and thereby strengthening it -nourishing it day by day.